i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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