So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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