hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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