My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize