I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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