we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize