love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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