Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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