How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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