Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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