yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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