she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
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I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
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when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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