Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize