Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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