Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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