sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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