I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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