My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
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Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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