Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Randomize