You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
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