he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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