are you still at the devil's house?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
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You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
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My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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