false alarm. still invincible.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize