ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I wish there were birth control emojis
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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