I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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