I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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