What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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