he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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