i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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