Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
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How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
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i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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