pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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