I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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