You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
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I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
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Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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