spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize