You can't special order awesome
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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