the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
