i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
