There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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