now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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