So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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