I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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