Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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