i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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