I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
its not stalking. its research.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
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My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
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Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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