Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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