: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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