Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
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I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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