happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
love makes seman taste better
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
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I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
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I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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