guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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