I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
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Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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