I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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