What a fucking waste of an outfit
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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